cloud nine

2009-09-01T23:52:00.002+08:00

When I laid right there next to you, feeling the back of your hair, looking into your eyes. It all felt too right.

You deserve to be the happiest person in the world. And I'll see to it. =)

<3

2009-08-10T01:04:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when the things you looked forward to comes to a close.
We see no point in looking forward.
To hope for another wonderful day/outing/weekend. Maybe. That seems too far away.
But i guess sometimes, we could just live in the moment.
And keep telling ourselves there'll be a better day.
Even if it is about lying to ourselves, at least, it keeps us smiling, if only for those subtle moments.
Maybe that's what life is all about..
Living in the moment.

To Jastine, Normen, XD, Shaun, Wai Hong, Liz, Jocey, Xian Yi, Nug. Thanks for awesome an Friday and a Saturday that brought back many fond memories

Eug and Chloe, for being awesome today.

<3!

2009-07-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

If you wanna know
Why I can't let go
Let me explain to you
That every little dream comes true
With every little thing you do..

2009-07-22T22:34:00.001+08:00

Sometimes we take for granted..

2009-07-20T19:29:00.001+08:00

Movie and a night out with the most beautiful people in my life made everything seemed better.

I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels..

2009-07-18T00:14:00.002+08:00

Please, in any way or another, be fine and come back to me.
Punish me god, take it out on me.
Maybe you are doing just that, but she means the universe to me.
Not Saturn nor jupiter nor the sun
The whole damn universe.
Be there for her little red book.
Give her the strength to face her fears,
and the will to fight on.
Promise me favourite person. that'll you'll be fine
and that you'll come back to me...


Have you ever been in love 
Been in love so bad 
You'd do anything 
To make them understand? 
Have you ever had someone 
Steal your heart away? 
You'd give anything 
To make them feel the same? 
Have you ever searched for words 
To get you in their heart 
But you don't know what to say 
And you don't know where to start?

2009-07-16T00:55:00.002+08:00

I haven't been writing.

Busy I guess.

I tried. It wasnt enough.
Face it Kenneth
Then fight on.
It rained this morning. I love the rain even though I got drenched.
Because it makes me reflect.

Andrea was awesome today=)

2009-06-20T02:07:00.001+08:00

Don't you bully her, go awayyyyyy

2009-06-17T23:49:00.003+08:00

Haven't been blogging for quite abit, been stocking myself up with work these days. It makes the hours go faster and 16th March 2011 seem closer. I guess thats what numbs me, work.

<3!

2009-06-01T23:51:00.000+08:00

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

2009-05-31T00:22:00.002+08:00

Sometimes..

Sometimes, we lie awake at night and think about our days.
Sometimes we fall soundly asleep, smiling at life's simple pleasures.
Sometimes we feel pain, from the events that go against us.
Sometimes we hide away.
Sometimes we face it squarely, simply to show the world.
Sometimes we catch up with our friends, and share about the day.
Sometimes we try to be someone else, if only for that moment, to achieve a sense of greatness that as ourselves we don't possess.
Sometimes we seek solace, in nature and the rain.
But it's not sometimes that we think of someone, to guide you through our days.
And it's not sometimes that they ease some of that pain away.
It's not sometimes, it's always.
<3!

2009-05-29T00:38:00.002+08:00

Ranting about the lost ain't gonna help so i'm not saying anything.

655 days till I ORD. Amazing.. That's a SHIT LOAD OF DAYS left.

2009-05-26T21:52:00.001+08:00

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes -- all you need is one

2009-05-23T00:53:00.001+08:00

There comes a time when every life goes off course.
In this desperate moment you must choose your direction.
Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are?
Or will you label yourself?
Will you be honored by your choice?
Or will you embrace your new path?
Each morning you can choose to move forward or to simply give up.

2009-05-20T23:16:00.001+08:00

Thank you fate, for letting me go =)

2009-05-19T14:58:00.004+08:00

So lets talk about this thing called fate.

Fate is being naughty today, as it has been as always. Fate allowed me to know and understand those around me, it allowed me to view issues in alternating perspective by putting me into weird situations. It practically formulated the world that I'm actually living in...

But.. But.. But.

Fate is keeping me away from the one person I'm so desperate to meet. And that's not very nice.

So I'm telling you fate, directly in the eye, to let me go, because I miss her.

2009-05-14T23:07:00.003+08:00

Food for thought:

i was reading the Straits Times and the article that struck me was the article titled: Life: A tapestry of indefinable hues.

It talks about how amazingly brilliant geniuses graduating from schools like Harvard ended up dead, dying or doomed.

"Its the baffling variety of their lives that strike one the most. It is as if we all contain a multitude of characters and patterns of behavior. And these characters and patterns are bidden by cues we don't even hear. They take centre stage in consciousness and decision making in ways we cannot even fathom. The man who is careful and meticulous in one stage of life is unrecognizable in another context."

"Even when we know something, it is hard to make it so. There is a complexity to human affairs before which science and analysis simply stand mute"

So we'll never know would we? How the future would be, the potential it holds to make or break you. But i guess we can all do our best, and secure a future which we've been working for.

<3!

2009-05-10T19:32:00.002+08:00

As I sat there and wondered of the world beyond those very shores, I felt at peace and I realised life is so beautiful in itself.

I enjoyed the trip, a good break from all the work.

I missed you.

2009-05-01T09:31:00.002+08:00

I had a blast yesterday=)

Xiu: I'm glad you're ok. Your blog post makes me heartened that you're coping well with things that happened. Proud of you.

Eugenia: I'm always here.

Because no matter what happens, we possess the one thing that I believe is superhuman. We possess the immense willpower that gives us the strength to face this world alone, and coupled with amazing friendships and the power of love, we can embrace life and move on.

Be brave..

<3!

2009-04-29T01:38:00.002+08:00

Wishes

I wish for comfort.
I wish for colour
I wish for perfection
I wish for brains
I wish for happiness for those around me
I wish for happiness for me
I wish for peace
I wish for scholarships
I wish for a good trip
I wish for will power
I wish for time
I wish things will be awesome
I wish for love
I wish for some luck
I wish for sunshine
I wish for rain when I'm cycling
I wish, I wish, I wish..

2009-04-25T00:17:00.002+08:00

I'm wondering and wondering whether I'm happy. Am I? I'm tired, weary, dreadful of sundays and I find it difficult to see through weeks. Its weird..

I need to figure it out.

Xiu: Just got to keep telling yourself you're stronger than you've ever known yourself to be. Take it easy, enjoy the easiest things in life and be free. I'm here, always.
just keep pushing on

Have you ever had a dream so real that when you wake up, you didn't know what to believe, or what you would do with what you perceived was true. Would you retreat back into your dreams and find that one perfect defining moment and the reality in it? Because sometimes, life is stranger than a dream and the only way to wake up is to face what lies ahead. And we can all hope that in those moments of dark reflection, that we are not alone.

I miss.. you?

2009-04-13T19:18:00.002+08:00

We had an hour.

In that hour, EVERYTHING fell into place.

Cause there was a light left on when you're gone, something I relied on to get home.
I love that song.

2009-04-09T07:37:00.003+08:00

The rain came, and it drenched me.

I decided not to stop, and I cycled and cycled and cycled. It felt so good because I seek solace in the rain. Completely soaked, pain in the legs, lungs screaming for air, wind in my face and the drive in my heart, thumping for more. Lesson to little kids: Go ahead and play in the rain, you never know what you'll find.

I found solace.

love..

2009-04-08T23:42:00.002+08:00

A Story of two extremely interesting people:

It was a routine school day, a day in which I still hold close to my heart, because without this day, I'll probably not have met this person, a friend, a gift, a guardian angel.

Venue: Bedok
Details: Undisclosed
What matters?: I got to know Lim Yixiu

I did like my dear friend, it may be a fleeting crush, puppy love, I don't know, but I guess I did? But I never really did anything about it, and after a bit, we lost contact. I started building a life of my own, and she, hers. But fate brought us together again I guess. Life has this uncanny ability to bring people closer together (If you need a better definition: Life = A more subtle Facebook) For our case, it was Alex.

Alex was a bridge I guess, he has known her for like donkey years, and somehow or rather, we came into contact with each other again. And that's when our friendship bloomed.

I remember bowling with her, then it was pool, swimming and study sessions. But above all, she walked me through the biggest moments of my life. Through my breakups, she's been the one behind me, giving advice, providing solutions, a listening ear, a platform for me to cry. Through the biggest exams of my life, she's been constantly pushing me on, studying together, helping with notes, and giving sweet little treats like the kit kat study packs or something like that. It's almost impossible to have a friend like you Xiu, and I'm looking back now to the day we met, the fact you know Alex, that you're in TJ, I realised how fortunate I am to be blessed by someone like you.

I'm happy for her now. She's found someone she loves, direction in life, she owns a business, a promising future not many in the world can say that about themselves. I'm proud of you.

And sincerely, I thank her, from the bottom of my heart, for all she has given me, for a good chat during dinner tonight, for being my friend, a gift and a guardian angel.

I'm always here for you Lim Yixiu, and we'll be great for life.

Keep smiling.
=)

2009-04-02T23:38:00.003+08:00

Thank You Elizabeth Yee, for your messages. It means so much to me. More than any amount of money can buy. LOVE YOU TO BITS

Wise words from my upper study: If you had a billion dollars, but you have no one to share it with, is life worth living?

2009-04-01T20:59:00.003+08:00

I had a shocking realization today.

But I still want to be true to myself. Cause its hard, and its not the Kenneth that my friends will love any longer. Maybe, just maybe, but then, if I become someone I don't wanna be, I'll be walking down the path I took so long to walk back again.

And I miss you very much, its not the same anymore.

Finally the silence,
Looking out
Looking back across the sky
Trying to find a meaning
Knowing that I just left it all behind

2009-03-30T22:26:00.000+08:00

I think I need to think about it..

2009-03-28T01:16:00.000+08:00

I want to MOVE ON

2009-03-28T00:09:00.003+08:00

I made many mistakes today, I hurt many people today.

Thank you Jocey, Normen and Jastine. I love you three so much. Even though I pang sehed you guys again and again. Please know that you're not substitutes, never are never will be. You guys stuck with me through everything, you're all blessings.

Thank god for Lim Yixiu. I love you more than ever. I didn't want to disturb you but I had to have someone and you were there despite it being difficult and all. For loving me and encouraging me. I thank you sincerely.

I really want to be happy.

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

2009-03-26T21:55:00.002+08:00

I feel weird. The feeling is coming back and I DONT WANT IT TO.

Someone please tell me its all gonna be ok.

Alright enough of my useless ranting.

Free polyclinic visit felt reaaaly good by the way..

Over and out

2009-03-21T23:58:00.002+08:00

After a week of mindless brainless useless BMT, I graduated from the stupid island we use to train our "we'll definitely lose if there's a war" army.

I met people I never imagined I'll find myself hanging out with, and I guess it opened my eyes to the types of people that actually existed around me. I missed home so bad when I was in there, I wanted my friends, my chicken rice, my bear, my family, my com, my ipod and I missed you.

As I looked into the starry sky, all I ever think about is you.

2009-03-08T14:43:00.002+08:00

Thank you.
I owe my life, my achievements to the people around that shaped me.

To dad whose sms touched me beyond any measure of a doubt that day.
To mum and sisters for being ever so concerned. Being a great family and being proud of me.

To Shaun, XD, Rui, Mei Xian, Wai Hong, Adrian, Xian Yi, Edmund, Ben, Liz, Cass, Jackie, Nug, Jian Xiang, Liting, Kenneth, Shu Ling, Jun Ru, Cheryl, Shi Yu, Shi Ju, Zhou Qian, Yi Zhen, my friends and classmates for being awesome throughout the period where we all were chasing our dreams. I'm proud of each and everyone of you and may you all have extremely good lives, promising careers and wonderful spouses.

To Xiu, Andrea and Yahan. 3 girls that mean the world to me. 3 girls that make a huge difference. 3 girls that are so so special. 3 girls who are gifts wrapped in beautiful sheets of paper sign off by god. 3 girls whom I would do anything for and promise whatever I can in my arena to see that smile on your faces. Thank you being being awesome.

To Jastine, Normen and Jocey, for everything I can look forward to. For Friday Outings and study sessions before As. For being able to cross the path of my ife and making me happy with your blessings. I'm very proud you guys did so well. I'm blessed to have people like you.

To the people who wished me well on Friday. Your constant support through everything made me feel great.

To the inventor of Ban Mian, who more or less bonded the class and held it together, for a satisfying lunch on friday that I perhaps didnt enjoy, and for the greatness of the dish itself=)

To 4A, who pushed me on to greater heights.

I'm on top of the world right now, so who knows when I might crash down again.

For now, its uni apps, scholarships and facing the prospects of life itself.

Let us all believe and remember, it has only just begun. Your life starts right now people, so take a breather and fight as hard as you can to acheive what we want. We're full of promise, so to a promising future! I wish you all the very best. And I'll love you every styep of the way..

It was so close, yet it seemed so far..

2009-03-07T02:34:00.001+08:00

Today

I almost cried because my whole life flashed right before my very eyes.
Not what I expected, but.. contented.

I just wish everyone would be alright. because you all mean so much to me..

2009-03-05T14:14:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day I spent 2 years working for.
Tomorrow is the day I know
Tomorrow is the day everything comes clear
Tomorrow is judgment
Tomorrow is something I look forward too
Tomorrow is the day I'll be afraid
Because tomorrow's not just another day.
Tomorrow may bring new opportunities, or it may slam some shut.
And it may define the people we become

Good luck my dear friends, you all deserve it.
=)

not ready to let you go...

2009-03-02T11:09:00.001+08:00

i miss u..

2009-02-24T00:18:00.002+08:00

So it came to the point whereby I became really confident about walking solo into a classroom full of zealous students waiting to be taught.

But I was taken aback today. WOW..

sometimes I get this sense of self doubt: Is it all worth it? The lack of sleep, the crazy days of never ending tuitions. But I guess its an experience. I realised how difficult it is to earn cash to support yourself, whats more, your family. For that, i salute my dad for single handedly bringing the entire family up. I'll stick to my promise, I'll buy him dinner on his birthday =)

And life's a bliss right now I guess. At least I know I can go running to someone after a long day of work. It gives me the drive to fight on. So thank you=)

I'm really afraid of 6th march.
I'm really afraid of 6th march.
I'm really afraid of 6th march.
I'm really afraid of 6th march.
I'm really afraid of 6th march.
I'm really afraid of 6th march.
I'm really afraid of 6th march.
I'm really afraid of 6th march.
I'm really afraid of 6th march.
I'm really afraid of 6th march.
I'm really afraid of 6th march.

=P

2009-02-18T09:14:00.003+08:00

6 weeks taught me confidence
6 weeks taught me strength
6 weeks taught me friendship
6 weeks taught me life

6 weeks is coming to a close, and the experience would stay with me.

I miss my friends in the army and I'll miss the people I met in TJ.

Now I need to get a new job.
Life goes on.
and I'm weary and worried

Love.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

2009-02-12T12:46:00.000+08:00

This is fing stupid.. i give up..

die love.. dieeee

2009-02-11T23:47:00.001+08:00

It came crashing, like an avalanche.

Come on
Without you I'll never feel the love inside of me..

2009-02-10T15:26:00.002+08:00

sitting and talking under the moonlight, darkness surrounds, but my heart felt so right, my heart felt so bright.

<3

2009-02-09T20:31:00.000+08:00

Thats why I love you=)

VJ was fun today. Really felt at home! And don't worry I'll be fine people! JW, xiu, Jocey. Thank you for showing you care.. It means more than anything to me.

Love!

2009-02-08T20:04:00.002+08:00

I didn't get my sleep last night. But it was worth it luh. HEHE! Touched? But it felt good again. I really missed her.

So anyway, abit of an update.
I'll be looking forward to VJ's amazing race tomorrow. I'll be home again.
And I'll be looking forward to Valentine's. HAHA!

Okay, life took a big turn around last Friday when i realised, crazy load of people dislike me. Like they really make it seem that way. And it kinda continued when I saw Darsh on the train today. i mean, you don't know me, so don't judge me. I could claim with all my strength that I'm not affected by it, but I guess I'm a little. I didn't ask for all this shit, I wasn't made to fall in and out of love. It was a dreaful past, it hurt.. But I grew out of it. I have no idea why I'm defending myself but I guess it makes me feel a tad bit better.Flirting is perfectly alright bitches. Its fun, entertaining and if you mean no harm, it means a thousand different ways to happiness for both parties. Friendships are built on things like that, so get to know me people. If not, shut the fuck up and kiss my ass..

Oh my the horror, I uttered the f word..
FUCK.. I'm a fucking teacher.. And it doesn't pay to be nice does it? you get labeled. But I'm sticking to being nice. Because I love the people around me.

I need a hug right now.

Thanks Xiaoxuan, =). You're my best student, AND you're an awesome friend, cheer up as well, you'll do great.

Smile for me people.

2009-02-07T20:32:00.001+08:00

Tired.. desperate times require one thing. SLEEP!

I passed my btt and life's been pretty good! heeeheeee

Complicated is the new word! hahahaha!

smile for me people. Midpoint theorem will be up as soon as i get my sleep.

Love!

2009-02-01T20:18:00.002+08:00

The memories, enjoyed alone.

I went to roxy for ban mian today, for the first time, I went alone. The aunty's first comment was "qi ta ren qu tang ping le ma" the memories flowed back like torrents of rainwater lashing down on me. The ban mian was good, it was just like old times, the class hanging out, having fun, laughing bitching talking loving. It made going to school meaningful. And I'm glad we met up on saturday. Stupid ARMY!

So we watched a bitchy show on saturday, chick flicks can be interesting. But brainless. At least it made me sure of my decision to let go. I have to and I have. Its your turn..

smile for me people..

2009-01-28T19:30:00.002+08:00

Reality Check!

okay, the fun is over! I have to start thinking of my future again. Nanyang Business School offers an MBA that is ranked 24th in the world! Thats quite amazing come to think of it. I'll apply for UK next year. And GIC. Tough tough tough!

USP have not called, I hope they do actually. My essay was so weird luh. But I hope it'll be okay. Teaching has been moderately good and I'm a happy kid after CNY. Ang pows, meeting up with the army guys. Hanging out with the twins at their house, gambling, tons of good food and a chance to catch up with everyone. It felt good this year. Maybe because I made the extra effort to try to talk to my aunties and uncles as well as my cousins. we're really distant now, very unlike the old days. I guess thats what time does.

Since I already wrote my USP essay, I'm deciding to put some parts of it up. HAHA. Make me feel better people. =)

A child is like a sheet of plain paper, uncontaminated, unstained and pure. From the moment it enters the world, it becomes a subject of never ending receiving and giving, till the day it dies. And since we all receive so much, I believe that the idea of giving plays a pivotal role in every single one of our lives.

I used to think giving was just a noble act for the elites to prove their worth, a platform to be recognised and for self assurance. That is, until a certain point in my life, I realised that the act of giving gave me a sense of fulfilment like no other. Giving allowed me to see the difference an individual can make in his life and that is the true essence of living life to the fullest.

From just a mere receiver, I became a giver to the best of my abilities. I started offering help to the people I know and don’t know, standing firm with my belief of being a shoulder to lean on emotionally and academically. I volunteered to be the class representative not only for me to lead, but also to provide an alternative for people to turn to. I also shared my knowledge by summarising notes into little pages of so called “examination tips”. And I did it all not for recognition, but for the massive self satisfaction that spawns from my actions. I reflect back and I feel that, in ways big or small, I made a difference in people’s lives just by the simple act of giving.

We all feel good when we receive, and till this day, I am still amazed by what a small deed of giving can make in a person’s life. Entire civilisations are being forged with the selflessness of others. Help that pours into problematic areas during times of trial and suffering are strong evidence of the act of giving.

As we strain to grasp all the things we desire, things we assume will make our lives better, money, popularity and fame, we ignore what truly matters. The idea of giving still runs through our veins but sometimes, people simply forget. A child is shaped by his surroundings, and that sheet of plain paper can either be filled with colour and beautiful pictures or it can simply be engulfed by darkness. As givers, we can make a difference and that idea in itself, is intriguing enough.

There is more but censored!

Meeting Andrea tmr! YAY.
And Xiu on friday!
THANK YOU Yahan. (she gave me something damn woahhh *shhh*)

Love you all people!
<3!

2009-01-24T09:38:00.002+08:00

My army letter finally came. 16th March 2009. 8.30am.

Check this out: The induction programme will cover topics such as National Education, SAF core values, and Regimentation & Discipline to familiarise you with the military culture. Owing to your medical conditions, only recreational activites (which are game based) and static exercises will be conducted during the induction.

Duration of induction: 5.5 days.

I'm so gonna get fat in there.

Chinese new year is just around the corner, as usual, the house is getting livelier, the piles of cookies and bak kua, and of course, the ang pows are gonna come in.

Life feels good right now. And I want it to stay this way.

Loves!

2009-01-18T20:58:00.002+08:00

REFLECTIONS

I've been so busy over the past week so I haven't been blogging. I'm so drained with all the tuition and waking up dead early in the morning. Schools been moderately good but it'll get busier next week. I really need sleep, like a damn hell load of sleep.

Confidence wasn't really an issue in front of a class so I'm proud of myself! I think i've grown to feel much better about myself. But tuition today was a little bad I guess. I hope it'll be alright.

I saw Andrea today, I MISS HER. Gonna meet up with her real soon!
=)

I feel terrible sometimes, because of how it ended. My actions and everything. But life's been really good, feels really good. So i'm happy.

And I was watching American Idol that day, there was this blind guy that auditioned, played piano and everything. Sometimes, life puts us into funny holes once in a long while, for us to grow out of them and be strong.

The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read
Beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree.
Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown,
For the world was intent on dragging me down.

And if that weren't enough to ruin my day,
A young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play.
He stood right before me with his head tilted down
And said with great excitement, "Look at what I found"

In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight,
With its petals all worn-not enough rain, or to little light.
Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play,
I faked a small smile and then shifted away.

But instead of retreating he sat next to my side
And placed the flower to his nose and
declared with overacted surprise,
"It sure smells pretty and it's beautiful, too.
That's why I picked it; here, it's for you."

The weed before me was dying or dead.
Not vibrant of colors, orange, yellow or red.
But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave.
So I reached for the flower, and replied, "Just what I need."

But instead of him placing the flower in my hand,
He held it midair without reason or plan.
It was then that I noticed for the very first time
That weed-toting boy could not see: he was blind.

I heard my voice quiver, tears shone like the sun
As I thanked him for picking the very best one.
You're welcome," he smiled, and then ran off to play,
Unaware of the impact he'd had on my day.

I sat there and wondered how he managed to see
A self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree.
How did he know of my self-indulged plight?
Perhaps from his heart, he'd been blessed with true sight.

Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see
The problem was not with the world; the problem was me.
And for all of those times I myself had been blind,
I vowed to see the beauty in life, and appreciate every second that's mine.

And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose
And breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose
And smiled as I watched that young boy, another weed in his hand
About to change the life of an unsuspecting old man

2009-01-11T22:15:00.003+08:00

I watched 7 pounds that day.

Well, it was heartwarming, boring, but extremely thought provoking.

"They say god created the world in 7 days, but in 7 seconds, my life shattered" It taught me how unpredictable life can be. How things can go crashing in an instant. Well the bad part was that he didn't push on in life after his set back. But I guess he felt so guilty about his mistake. However, he sacrificed his life and made differences in peoples lives. People he never knew but grew to love, people that are kind hearted, people that can make differences in other peoples lives.

So I want to be like Ben Thomas in 7 pounds, not sacrificing my life that is, more of time and effort. To give a listening ear to anyone, to give hugs to those who need them. To push people on and letting them find meaning in life. That is the essence of self worth, when you help others find their way, its self fulfilling I feel.

So i'm gonna have a "I'm a good listener movement!" I'm always here for you my friends, not because I want to be cool like Ben Thomas, its because I want to be someone that shapes peoples lives and because I truly believe there's no better gift then a shoulder to lean on. I for one can understand that.

Always a call away!

I didn't know what I was doing. Al l I can say is sorry..

Love!

2009-01-07T21:22:00.002+08:00

Well, acting career ended! Lack of time!. Haha.. Oh well..

Its been a great experience I guess these two days, knowing about teaching at all, feeling the classroom again after so long. I was a student once more, the need to sleep, the mini gossips, the laughter and the cheekiness. HAHA! Awesome time at NUS, getting to know more people and just having some good fun.

I really hope my tuition career goes fine!

And yes. I have to write my USP essay. I'm so tired! I miss Xiu and Andrea!

Anyway, Love!
Have fun in army guys, I'm gonna SPAMMM you..

2009-01-04T21:17:00.001+08:00

OMG I did things I never imagined doing

1) I became a teacher at a tuition agency
2) I auditioned for a play and am gonna act in one.
3) I bought tissue paper from the poor auntie

This year.. is so gonna be a blast..

=)

2009-01-04T00:55:00.002+08:00

I'm pretty darn tired.

Long day today and I realised today how small I really am. even in the tutoring world! As in I'm going to be competing with people with pHd's and what not but nvm, I have another resolution.

Earn $10000 this year.

That'll be awesome.
To a year of working hard and earning my money!

Smile!

2009-01-01T23:13:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year Everyone!

Countdown at XD's was awesome, not many people but I was with the people I love.

And I have a new resolution!

46) Read the newspaper

Loves!

2008-12-30T00:39:00.002+08:00

Scene: Hsuan Te, Shaun and I walking out of the toilet

Little boy: HSUAN TE HSUANTE!!

Shaun and I: Turns, stares and burst out laughing.

Hsuan Te: zzz...

That made my day..=)

Settlers cafe + board games + laughter + people I love = Sex on the beach. Not technically. But just imagine. It felt that good. Well emotionally of course. And by the way, I totally owned at Hotel. Hah!

IP man (yeep mun). Stupid Chinese propaganda, China DID NOT win the war, America did. Stupid movie producer didn't research his history or pay attention to people like Mrs Raj in secondary school. Well besides that, it was a good show.

Happy new year peeps, I won'yt be blogging till erm, soon. So be happy, have a great count down, enjoy your concession, and be ready for what comes next.

Love you all!

2008-12-29T01:03:00.003+08:00

This song pushes me on everytime, cause people around me are little beacons of light, guiding me through the night.

Light on people, light on..

Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Something I rely on to get home
One I can feel at night
A naked light, a fire to keep me warm
Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Even in the daylight, shine on
And when it’s late at night you can look inside
You won’t feel so alone

2008-12-28T18:05:00.002+08:00

So I'm bumping around at home doing nothing on a not-so-great Sunday afternoon. went cycling and it started raining like a tad bit. It felt good. All alone, fighting the pain in my legs and lungs, feeling the little drops just brush down your hands face and legs, to feel my shirt pressed down hard on my back. It was comfort and solace, you know the type of feeling you religious people out there feel when you sink into the arms of whom you all perceive as greater beings. Yes, I felt that for a moment, but it was all me. I guess? So anyway, the guys are going into army soon, and I'm gonna miss them so so much. All the best brothers.

& I probably wouldn't be going through the stuff that the guys will be going through in army which may be a blessing? So I have loads of time. So here goes! NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS!

New year resolutions:
1) Cut down on F words and well, some other vulgarities. I'm actually doing pretty great. HAHA

2) Stay Single. Well its a stupid one since the last time I made this very resolution, I got attached in like a month. Stupid. I can do it this time! roarr

3) Learn cooking

4) Learn Opera!

5) Have fun teaching

6) Resist smoking. I haven't but curiosity drives people.

7) Wake up and sleep early

8) Run/Cycle everyday

9) Cut down on soft drinks

10) Treat my parents dinner on their birthdays!

11) Not losing touch with my close friends

12) Not changing my phone. I keep doing that.

13) Read finish my Economist subscription every week. This its damn hell of an ask. Especially when you have TIME as well. Plus the fact that I read slower than a dwarf. zz

14) Learn to accept criticism and improve myself.

15) Learn and pass my driving test.

16) Have a less scary image. I must learn to look smarter, be more friendly, not ask people if they are attached(I learnt this from liz)

17) Stop hunching my shoulders

18) Play badminton every week.

19) Do weights daily

20) 200 situps daily

21) Eat a tad bit less

22) Be nicer

24) Send Christmas cards to everyone

25) Wish people on their birthdays

26) Speak to my dad more.

27) Join night classes on how to be a better guy. HAHA. My friend went overseas to take a course like this, spent thousands of dollars!

28) Save more money. I haven't been saving

29) Earn more money, well more savings plus more earnings = I'll be richer.

30) Be there for everyone

31) Not bitch so much.

32) Not to be so resistive and outright with my views on religion

33) Pack my room weekly

34) Tutor my idiotic sister. well I love her but shes idiotic when it comes to the brainy stuff. Lazy, ill disciplined and slow. AND SHES NOT PAYING ME!

35) Not grumble about the fact that the days of child concession is gonna be over. NO MORE UNLIMITED BUS RIDES!

36) Dress for any occasion

37) Write the stupid journal for my teaching internship.

38) Stop drinking hard liquor every night! haha./

39) Mug for SATS I don't know why, but just mug luh.

40) Hope for my 8 distinctions, and if I don't get it, just chill and know that I did my best.

41) Train my interview skills

42) Talk to more people

43) Research on the economy

44) Be ready for what comes next

45) Let go.

Thats all I think. Well, I'll come up with more when I have time.

LOVES!

2008-12-28T00:35:00.002+08:00

LOL

Today my sister was talking to my mum on our way to dinner.
Sister: You know Amanda (My puny little idiotic cousin) got crush.

Mum: By what?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That seriously made my day.=)

2008-12-26T00:16:00.002+08:00

I'm not going to bitch about anyone
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okay good.

I'm gonna stop saying f***
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2008-12-22T17:02:00.002+08:00

Party!

Amazing party on saturday. Thank you all once again for coming and for the wonderful gifts!

Thanks for the Man Utd Tee(LOVES!), the dickie tee, the beer, the sakae, the cards, the poohs, the wallets, the cookies and muffins. Greatly appreciated!=)

Special note to Meixian and Hsuan Te for the note and card. It was really sweet of you both.

Thank you Daddy for being so great that day. Love my family!

I'm gonna miss you people!

Looking forward to the Christmas gathering that's gonna come up soon. And I need to shop for my working clothes.

I still tear when I read this story. Cliche, but extremely thought provoking:

Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow. Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home. Why, the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone. But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home. But the little girl went to school, eager to tell them all. About a dad she never sees a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats. One by one the teacher called, a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare. Each of them was searching, for a man who wasn't there. "Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout. And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her Mom. And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories he taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.

"Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart"

With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress. And from somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, doing what was right. And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd.

She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud. "I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far You see he was a firefighter and died just this past year When airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away." And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day. And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise. A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side. "I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out. And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt. Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed.

But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining bright star. And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far

2008-12-17T00:41:00.003+08:00

Thank you

It was a blast. Beautiful friends, wonderful day, happy me. Well its nice to be with such great friends. Birthdays were usually normal days, I guess this year, things changed

Shout out:

To Jocelyn, Wee Ho, Jastine and Normen for the beautiful card (Special thanks to jocey for doing the pop up thing =)) and for the cake, and for lunch and for drinks and for being great companions and friends.

To Matt and JingWen, for coming down today.

To Nugraha, Waihong, Hsuan Te, Elizabeth and Cassandra for being wonderful wonderful friends wishing me and yes being able to see you guys on my birthday means alot to me. (Looking fotrward to frisbee and cycling!)

To Harng Yi, Shi Kang and Mitch, for well wishes online

To Mei Xian, Yun Han, Choong Cheng, Shaun, Shannon, Cherish, Xian Yi, Jermyn, ShiLing, Wei Zhen and Adrian for your well wishes by SMS. the message costs a mere five cents but the impact was priceless. =)

To Lorna(Even though you're in Vietnam you remembered!), Wayne, Ganesh, Idzhar, Ting Wei, Yi Zhen for your messages on facebook.

To Jewel for the super early wish.

To Alex, Calvin, Sufiyan, Josiah, Ben Foo for hand shakes and well wishes at Cathay.

Friends define who we are, and words cannot describe how thrilled I am to have you guys. To never ending friendships!

I love you people.. YES i really do.
=)

2008-12-15T01:35:00.003+08:00

Friends

friends are people who are always there. the people who stick by you, the people who care. They are the ones that bring you joy, hang out with you when you're bored. the people whom you don't really get mad when they're late, you laugh their sarcastic comments away and you turn to them for comfort and solace. They are the people they give you reasons to live on each week, for something to look forward to when you fall asleep at night. They give you courage when you fear and make you smile when you are sad. They know when you're okay and when you're not, and they are people that you were fated to meet.

Speaking about fate, i am a true believer of fate. Fate made us what we are, fate brings people together, from the place your parents chose to live, the school they sent you to, the exam questions that appear, these are mere examples of fate that ultimately shape our lives. Just imagine a different school or maybe even a different class. Your lives would definitely be so different and as for me, I'm thankful for my fate.

Because fate brought me friends that no amount of money can buy. friends that share my pain and joy, that accept me and make me laugh. Been there throughout everything.. Friends come and go, but I believe that everything that friends have been through together will always always remain close to our hearts. I am sure about myself and my friends will always be with me. Heres a shoutout to all my friends. I'm glad to have known you and you've all, in one way or another, big or small, been a huge part of my life. You're the people that allow me to define myself and I am grateful for everything. So THANK YOU. You people are the best birthday presents anyone would have possibly given me. Birthday's in less than 24 hours. I'm turning 18 people. There's still a long way to go. And I know you people will follow me down this road of life. I love you all.

=)

Smile for me people.

Cause a lifetime is not too long, to live as friends...

2008-12-13T01:12:00.000+08:00

Thanks Xiu..
=)

I got a date on mah bdayyyyyyy =)

2008-12-12T12:45:00.002+08:00

I have a very bad feeling about this.. Well.. I don't want to get invovled! Roar.. Sorry Normen.. I just had to..

2008-12-09T23:06:00.003+08:00

Birthday Wishlist! i was reading Xiu's blog and I decided to make one too! haha! Just a desire thing=P

1) Shit loads of cool people at my party!
2) Grand Theft Auto on my PS3
3) Good students next year
4) Straight As for A's
5) More tuition = More money!
6) To have a happier year
7) To get posted to a good camp next year for army
8) Hair growth hormones!
9) Stay close to my friends
10) A date on my birthday
11) Smile!

=) Thats pretty decent for my 18th bday

I'm gonna drink drink drink drink!

Love!

2008-12-08T23:53:00.003+08:00

i never really felt so free in a long time.. I use to say to myself, if there's a day i find unproductive in my life, i'll work doubly hard the next day to cover it up. well i did vitually nothing for 3 weeks! basically sleeping, gaming and hanging out. well its something something but i'm not been working well besides giving tuition my brain turned off. Its a good feeling I suppose, BUT i have a feeling its gonna get damn boring. oh well.. played soccer in the rain today, cold as ever but it was good fun. stupid waihong own me on facebook. HAHA!

I'm gonna hang out with everyone yay. Looking forward to beef dinner with Choon Cheng tomorrow class outing(HAHA right...) on Wednesday, Suwei and wee ho on friday!, Andrea on Saturday and Alex n xiu on sunday?

So i was thinking I'm auctioning myself for free to spend my birthday.. Any takers? Doubt so luh everyone going away.. sighh..

NVM.. LOVE!

Sometimes it feels like we’ve run out of luck
When the signal keeps on breaking up
When the wires cross in my brain
You’ll start my heart again
When I come along
Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Something I rely on to get home
One I can feel at night
A naked light, a fire to keep me warm..

2008-12-04T00:27:00.002+08:00

Prom went great.. I was talking to Hsuan Te the day before and he was asking if I was psyched about the whole thing. Well I said no but I guess i was wrong about the whole thing. Prom was better than I expected. The MC was irritating but cracked two amazing jokes that I bow down to and the cam whoring was OMG. haa! Pretty girls and great looking guys filled the area and I still think Miss SC looked the best that night. Thanks to Mr Phua Hsuan Te I got a pic! haha!

Its truly the end of ends of my JC life.. I had a blast, made some amazing friends and learnt more about life than I ever did. Cheers to the people who made a difference in my life.

Life is getting boring without A's!

Plans:
Meet up with Yixiu, Suwei, Andrea.=)

Love!

2008-11-28T22:18:00.002+08:00

my hair colour is red now.. and i apparently accepted the moe internship thing which basically means i have to use my brain teaching jc stuff next year. The thought of a whole class staring at you at waiting for an answer to an unanswerable question is intimidating in itself. Wai Hong you got coral sec, they won't ask difficult questions! cause their brains are pretty puny. I'm stuck with TJC! oh man the horror.. Why in the world did I put it my first choice. Damn.. Deal with it I guess

I HOPE THERE ARE NO PRETTY GIRLS IN THE CLASS! ok maybe I'm hoping for one. and tons of ugly guys
haha!

Whatever..

Love!

2008-11-23T21:05:00.002+08:00

Prom shopping commenced and damn did I shopped. I never carried so many shopping bags containing MY clothes. Wow.

Shagged like crazy because of the stayovers, the gaming and the fun. The juicy gossips and weird discussions about people we hate and like was entertaining and I am so gonna buy rock band 2 cause all the reviews say its better..

Well. Whats next?

2008-11-19T11:26:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna be done bitches

ROARHHHHHH

2008-11-16T00:01:00.003+08:00

Avenue Q

$75 can buy you a performance with fuck, shit and dick. A grand idea for prom, tons of laughter, girls in dresses, a life lesson and a great new vocab.

I learned a new word today: Schadenfreude, It means taking joy in another person's pain and suffering. It how amazing how we actually take pleasure in other people's pain, and yes, how we're racist. Avenue Q brought it out amazingly..

The internet is for porn. Heard the song countless of times and still cant get over it. And the stupid boob thing. You know the heart beat thing you always see in dramas, imagine that, with the sound, a slut dying on a bed, and the humps thingy the shape of boobs flashed wide across the screen and two other people emoing with everything i said still going on. Fucking laughed like shit man. the boob thingy are as follows:

There's a thin line between love and a waste of time. Spot on avenue q, spot on.. The thin line broke for me.

Great day, great story..

Love!

2008-11-13T02:05:00.002+08:00

What Comes Next?

Time flies.. And its almost over.. Everything.

A levels: I think i did well but I don't know nuts about actually doing well. Hope I guess.. At least there's something to look forward to after the fun and the laughter eventually comes to an end. Sometimes when we look back and when we lose something or someone for that matter, we realise how dependent we really are on that particular person. Well, I was looking forward to the end for the freedom and luxury of time to do everything I wished I could do.. But then when it all ends, the question is, what comes next?

What comes next has been a question that played in my mind over and over and over again. Its no longer the next step in my education. But rather a choice that determines where we go in life. Scholarships or not? Local or overseas? I can safely say I did my best.. But is it enough? What should I pursue? Dreams, Money, Fame? There is so much to life and I am so afraid of making the wrong decisions. What's next.?

After I get tired of the games I play, the endless hours of fun and laughter, after the party at Hsuan Te's house, after a possible overseas trip, after internship.. What happens next? I am afraid, very afraid. Because the people that I hold so dear in life may all part in ways that we can never imagine. army will sap the guys away and well, university just takes people away. Haha. I shall just say I'll miss them.

We ended and now its just me and you. It hurts. And it still does. sometimes as I lay in bed in the dead stillness of the night, I realise how lost I am. Because everything disappeared in an instant, and every brave front I put lies an agony maybe only I can understand. Let me heal.. Because I need to be ready for what comes next..

To the people that were there, thankyou..
To S64, you people are brilliant.
To the airport gang, for the mugging
To jw matt n wee ho, =)
To yixiu, Thanks
To mitch. For the times and still being a friend after everything, I'm grateful
To everyone that bothers reading, continue..

I guess sometimes we learn to define happiness on our own terms, in spite of all the pain the world caused us..

Love, Kenneth

2008-04-23T20:11:00.002+08:00

Class Blog, ACSI and LG Viewty

Yo people, class blog's on! Founding members are pending. If you want the password, get it from us. As long as you're an S64, you can join the gang. HAHA! My owning post is good luh! I think I'll get owned by the 10 or 11 guys that I owned yesterday. HAHA. Have fun guys, laughter is the best medicine. For those who don't already know. its http://07s64.livejournal.com/

I seriously hate ACSI. FUCKING ACSI JUST DIE. Now I can't get the season over and done with and we may have to play them again. Get raped.. AGAIN.. Why so fucked up. Just go on and win luh. We walk over. Play IP players and screw everything up..

And I really want the LG viewty. Looks good, feels good and its a great functional phone at an affordable price. I'll get it soon=).

LOVES PEOPLE!

2008-04-19T23:02:00.002+08:00

Feeling loved!

Today was wonderful. Baby you looked gorgeous. =).

I'm scared at times. Insecure. What a wonderful girl she is. Scared that one day she'll leave for someone better. Someone with better grades, a nicer car, nicer looking abs, someone who plays better squash, someone somewhere out there that can win her heart. But I have faith in us. In you and in myself.

I love you sweetheart.

We were stopped by a photography company today in the middle of vivo. Shocke to me but probably not her. She looked gorgeous! The old guy kept saying that she'll look great in photos. I think she looks great anyhow.

I'm sorry I'm ranting about my wonderful gf. I never did that actually..

Moving on, I ponned school twice last week. HAH! slacking at home watching sex is zero. Funny shit. Its R21 but who cares. Singapore censorship board sucks balls.

Daddy's birthday on Thursday. Poor daddy. His birthday and he pays for the treat I swear I'll treat him birthday meals every year from the day I start working. I love my dad and all he has done for me. He's probably the guy I respect the most. Besides his hot temper. I think he's wonderful.. Happy Birthday daddy.

I'm hooked on: Teardrop on my guitar.

And if you ask will I be true
Do I give my all to you
Then I will say I do

2008-04-14T22:19:00.003+08:00

A win, Birthdays and still an unhappy time.

So we finally won today after like so long since the season started. VJ squash sucks. Frankly, even being captain. I'm not proud to be in squash. I never do adorn the shirt in school, and i think I never will. Understand our position you should. I think not many do. No excuses then. We just suck..

So on a happier note. Its Jingwen's Birthday tomorrow! Happy birthday JIngwen! We had a good time on Saturday with the guys but I think you were pretty emo cause we were like soccer-ing the whole time. We're really sorry alright. Happy Early Birthday if you read this today. Happy Birthday if you read this tomorrow.

Sunday was dinner day with my family. Some buffet dinner. Not bad actually for the reasonable price. Quiet table. The cousins never actually talk anymore. Well, its part of growing up I guess.

Saturday was bad.. Real bad.. Some EMO moments right there. Thanks Rui for being there!

I mean life's been great this year until Saturday. EVERYTHING just crashed down on me that night. No idea why..

PW's good. Undeserving A for some. Same goes for my Chinese I guess, what can I say?

Things to complete:
TUTORIALS
Lecture Test essay.
Try to win my other matches

I can't wait to step down and get it all over with..

Sometimes, people never understand...

2008-04-07T23:09:00.001+08:00

MOVIE, THE DRAW AND LESBIANISM!

Updating is a big chore. So anyway, Saturday was great. Movie with my baby at Plaza Sing. Vantage point. Its a good show really. It just kinda makes you feel irritated cause you really like REALLY wanna know what happens in the end. Creative movie. Showing scenes from like 4-5 different points of views which builds up to the climax. Its worth the ten bucks I paid I should say.

Speaking of ten bucks, movies are getting really expensive these days. WTF 10 bucks. I remember saying 7 was expensive. Damn theaters. Just lower the air con a notch to drop that gay electricity bill! We actually do freeze in movies at times cause its so freaking cold.

Benefits of lowering the aircon:
1) We feel warmer and so we enjoy the movie better
2) Save electricity = Save the Earth + We can watch movies longer before energy runs out and we all cry from the lack of entertainment.
3) Save electricity = Save Money + lower movie ticket prices + we enjoy the movie better!

Conclusion: Lowering the air con leads to better movies! (Of course not to the point whereby we can't take the heat of course.)

Moving on..

Mancester United just blew the title race open. MIDDLESBOROUGH!!

I mean.. you guys are 15th in the table. just forget it and scram off luh..
Oh well..

Anyway.. lets change the topic to bisexuality. let me see.. talk of the town nowadays in S64..

LESBIANISM!

So you see girl A is a lesbian or so called or heard of or whatever.

She's hooking girl B, C and D (According to a guy who stood up during math lecture)

She seems very erm i should say.. finger oriented.

Girl B apparently thinks its too sick to be explained.

BEWARE THE LESBO'S COMING!

But actually from a guys point of view, lesbianism is really kinda you know.. good. i mean isn't it great to have two girls %&(^%&I(^$%I&^%RCI$%TU%&*^%$&$^&#%^*%#%&$% Fill in the blanks, This blog is rated G =)

Mr Looh seemed pretty damned high today.
Mr Ueng isn't coming tomorrow!

Monday tuitions just got funnier today..

Much love!

2008-04-03T20:08:00.003+08:00

The Lost, The Audition AND BEVFUGLY~!

I AM NOT THE FOOL OF THE CLASS MEIXIAN!

So I got sicker yesterday. My voice was totally screwed and my mucus still flowed like a raging river pouring out from the yellow river dam. My my the agony..

Disappointing match against AJC yesterday. I mean I tried hard I guess but it's a team game afterall.. I don't blame the team. But I really wanted to win the game. Its really saddening to see that VJ squash still suck as ever. I made a big big decision to stay in squash over badminton. Certainly they were easy opponents. The seasons over for us then.. Squash is damn weird. If you get through, you're top four. So we can't get through. End of story.. I won my match though. So its a start..

We'll get raped by ACSI next Wednesday. So we'll get owned by the school again.. Sigh..

Okay auditions. Went alright i guess.. I think i'm a sucky singer. I can't get everything so I'm sorry waihong. Thanks to shaun for helping me with the pitching and fine tuning.. Everyone said I cracked. I dunno I doubt I did.. But oh well what they hear counts right.. My throats killing me so bear with it alright.. I'll try harder.. =) Kinda lost confidence now.. boo..

Today was the funniest day of 2008.. I laughed and almost died.. ONCE AGAIN THANKS TO MR PHUA XD.

PHUA XD DID IT ONCE AGAIN..
This time with my one and only!!!!!!! *DRUMROLLS*

BEVFUGLY!!^%$&^%$*^%$*%^#

Lets have a description of Bevfugly:

1) Her hair makes any guy have a huge hardon
2) Her skirt makes cleaning aunties happy!
3) Her specs came from the 13th century

Imagine that? If you can't.. well.. She just kills your brain cells.

So we were talking about her at our usual table at our usual ban mian place. Then XD suddenly came up with a weird theory about how her hair can be a mechanism to fight a war and what deflecting off missile shit. I burst out laughing like a bitch and he continued on and on about when we go army with her hair we can ask the officer to test if it deflects bullets and coat our machines with her hair. Then people went on about putting pens into her hair, drug smuggling and some lame shit about her hair being a wig cause it never changes.. Shaun's expression was priceless..

WAHAHAHA.. That made my day..

I know bitching's bad.. BUT JACKIE EVEN FORGOT THAT SHE WAS IN HER OG HOLY SHIT!

That just summed up my day..

To you folks.

Loves!

P.S. BTW meixian i try ok cause i promised jackie.. i dunno, you two have a bitch fight luh.. it'll be fun!

=)

2008-04-01T13:44:00.002+08:00

Once again, I'm going to relive the thing about blogging.

First, I apologise about the lack of design of my pathetic blog. I'm not an incredibly artistic person so I hate designing my blog. Its just a template from blogger. WHY ARE THERE TEMPLATES??? FOR YOU TO USE THEM! (Rui once told me my blog's really ugly.. Ahhh whatever)

Sick today. So I'm slacking at home like an idiot trying to work out the songs I have to audition for tomorrow.. My mucus keeps getting in the way and its kinda disgusting..

Crazy Meixian called me a zillion times in the morning to tell me its wrong to pon school on April fools day. YEA.. April fools.. I was kinda looking forward to this day.. OH WELL.. XD was being an ass btw on the phone..

It's kinda evident everyone's flaming XD. Bad XD. http://chessybakedsalmon.blogspot.com
Check it out..

Keropok.. Talk of the town.. Get the news man..

Look forward to a match tomorrow.. AJC's going down!

The class is cooler this year. cause we have endless ban mian outings nowadays.. yay..

Advertisement: SOMEONE BUY MY MUSICFEST TICKETS IF I DECIDE NOT TO GO.

Go mug peeps..

PW out tomorrow.. That was an April fool's joke..

LOVES

2007-09-12T22:10:00.001+08:00

http://www.aalteam.blogspot.com

The website above brought much laughter apparently. Ahlians do have their way of blogging and seriously, I think they have to grow up. I mean why create a blog that makes everyone shiver so bad.

Imagine you chance upon a blog and the first line that appears is:
+/~`Aiiee miiiishh maaaii lAoqqongx'~\+

That was so disgusting.. MoViNg on.. (fuck was that alternate caps that I just typed)

...

I didn't blog for god knows how many years. Lazy I guess. I was doing notes for you people (Earth to class. You chose the right C-T rep)

Oh yes.. Yixiu, I miss you bad. You better pang seh your bf and i'll pang seh my gf and we'll date Alex. AND YOU OWE WEE HO HIS SHIRT Hah

Mug people. Promos are coming. I just love the competition..

BYE

2007-07-08T20:19:00.000+08:00

So life's been going fine. I saw Suwei today after so long. (coughs.. he.. ponned.. tuition.. alot...) So it was a good thing. Catching up as always, enjoying a long bus ride home with him. I missed him. He was a really big part of my life. He was always there.

I hope I do okay for econs. I really hope so..

So I had this thought after watching this episode on one tree hill. What if someone you love just perishes. just like that. I mean we always always take for granted how important they really are. No matter how many philosophical quotes or thinking processes we go through. We still take for granted. It's just human I guess. When they're here. You act as though you can carry on without them. When they're not, you finally realise its too late. Life is all about being too late.. And we become stuck in the cycle again and again...

P.S. I love you..

If having things turn out the way you wanted it to be is the measure of our successes, then I guess many would say they're failures. The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past and recognize that everyday won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in darkness and despair, remember that it is only in the black of the night, that you can see the stars. And those stars, will guide you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes or stumble and fall. Because most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for, maybe you'll get even more than you could have imagined. Who knows where life would take you, the road is long.. And in the end, the journey is the destination...

2007-07-04T20:38:00.000+08:00

Things that I've been running from

Wasn’t I supposed to be someone
To face the things that I’ve been running from

Let me feel
I don’t care if I break down
Let me fall
Even if I hit the ground
And if I cry a little, die a little
At least I know I lived

I’ve become much too good
At being invincible
I’m an expert at play it safe
And keeping it cool

But I swear
This isn’t who I meant to be
I refuse to let my life roll over me

I wanna be somebody
Who can face the things that I’ve been running from

2007-07-03T21:52:00.000+08:00

Tragedies of life.

People always say that the biggest tragedy in life is to lose your hearts desire. Well I think it is to gain it. Sometimes we fight so hard to get everything we want but in the end, it cost us even more.

As we strain to grasp all the things we desire, things we assume will make our lives better, money, popularity, fame, we ignore what truly matters. The simple things like friendship, family, love, the things we probably already had...

Maths was good. but not good enough..

<3

2007-06-27T19:30:00.000+08:00

So exams are on and its 2 more to go. 1 for most though. screw chinese.

Physics and math was fine. Screw Econs and GP.

chem is on tmr then its class pool outing day! =)

love it people.. I cant wait for chem=)

2007-06-19T22:09:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday Alex!

I just wanted the best for you sweetheart...

I'll do everything in my power, to see your smile again...

2007-06-16T22:35:00.000+08:00

Id walk a million miles.
I'd cross the ocean blue.
I'd climb the tallest mountain.
Just to be with you.

I'd smile a thousand smiles.
Or cry a thousand tears..
I would give my very life..
Just to keep you here..

I'd kill your worst enemy..
Or wipe the human race..
I'd destroy a million lives..
To put a smile on your face..

I'd rid every lake and river..
I'd give you the moon and sun..
I'd catch every fire fly..
Or I'd hold every star..
I'd ride up to Pluto and back.
Just to show you who you are.

I would give up my life.
And my very soul.
Just to show you and everyone I would do anything..
Just to see you smile..

Because you make me so happy..
And make life seem worth while..
So once again I'll repeat..
Everything I'd do for you..
Just to make you happy.. And make this love come through..

I'd walk a million miles..
I'd cross the ocean blue..
I'd climb the tallest mountain..
Just because I love you=)

2007-06-14T21:21:00.000+08:00

Holidays are ending fast. Shit. I have yet to start on econs. like start. I mean really. I don't know no shit. Fuck. The others are fine. So anyway. I have to cut my hair, get a belt and start econs.I played pool with Mitch today after studying in the library. Its quite fun actually just that it damn hell of an expensive.

I met Andrea yesterday. =). Oceans 13 was good.

To be nobody but yourself and the world will just doing its best night and day to make you everybody else. It needs to fight the hardest battle, which any human being can fight.

2007-05-30T23:50:00.001+08:00

Haven't been ranting for awhile. So the holidays have started. Great break=). I'll be down for CIP tomorrow and there'll be a badminton game tomorrow morning. Life's going well.. Soccer girls lost but it wasn't so bad. Loads of mugging to do. Pro mugging will start next week. I need the midyears for my h3 math. Jia you everyone!

Watched Pirates that day. We were late so we caught the 11.20 movie. BUT! The great part is that the 11.20 show had a technical difficulty! So we were asked to leave and exchange our tickets for another timing. On top of a replacement show we were asked to keep the tickets for another complimentary ticket to be redeemed within the month! Great. Free movie. Watched shrek 3 with it. Not bad. Pirates was good. Fantastic 4 and Harry Potter. Two more must watch movies.

I fell sick last week but its good. And I think white sands rocks now after the upgrading. It used to suck balls really. =P.

Tmorrow will be a long day I'll be going

Much love people
P.S. I really wanna meet Andrea.

Just crash and burn, you're never alone...

2007-05-24T23:28:00.001+08:00

Same Script, Different cast...

Unh Hey Deb.
Uh huh
Thank you for being woman enough to come
Whitney what's this all about

W: I know he's leaving me for you
D: Who said that who told you that is true
W: What is he telling you could it be the same things that he told
me
D: He told me that he loved me
W: I heard that
D+W: He told me I was beautiful (harmonized)
D: How did you know how did you know
W: Cause I've played that scene before

W:This is a retake of my life
I was his star for many nights
now the roles have changed and you're the leading lady in his life
lights, camera now you're on just remember you've been warned
enjoy it now cause it won't last
same script different cast

D: What you're saying could be true but how can I take advice from you
W: I'm not hating but I wish the one before me would have warned me too babe
D: Don't say no more la la la la la la la la la
W: Uncover your ears girl
D: I'm not listening la la la la la la la la la
W: But I know you hear me, maybe my reasons are wrong but I know that you
believe me

Chorus:
W:This is a retake of my life I was his star for many nights
(His star for many many many many nights)
now the roles have changed and you're the leading lady in his life
lights
(lights)
Camera
(camera)
Now you're on
just remember you've been warned
enjoy it now cause it wont last
same script different cast

D: It's your fault you didn't love him enough
W: That's the problem I loved him too much and when you love him he becomes
unattracted to you
D: Oh no he's changing now i'll prove you wrong (No you won't) so go away
leave us the hell alone cause he love's me
W: He'll hurt you
D: He'll stay with me
W: He'll leave you
W&D: For sure, for sure

This is a retake of my life
W: retake of my life
D: yes it is
I was his star for many nights
W: I was his star for many many many nights
Now the roles have changed
D: Now now now now now now the roles have changed and I'm the leading lady in
his life
Lights
D: Lights
Camera
D: Camera
now your on just remember you've been warned
W: enjoy it now because it won't last no same script different cast

D: This is a retake of you're life you were his star for many nights but now the
roles have changed and I'm the leading lady in his life
lights, camera now you're on just remember you've been warned
enjoy it now cause this will last I'm the future you're his past

W: This is a retake of my life
D: It is
W: I was his star for many nights now the roles have changed and you're the
leading lady in his life
D&W: Lights
D&W: Camera
W: Now your on just remember you've been warned
D: Remember you've been warned
W: enjoy it now it won't last
D: Oh no it will last
D&W: Same script different cast
D: He loves me

2007-05-18T23:32:00.000+08:00

A change of template =). I'm darn lazy to update

The week went fine. The badminton girls are doing great. Soccer boys lost. Wake up Tan. 16 DSAs in the team and you lost!? Soccer girls on tomorrow. Please win..

2 Spas, Chinese oral, Physics and Econs test. Spas went fine, I passed oral Physics could be better Econs test was hilarious. I love you Mr Ueng. HAHA. PW is going crazy! Oh well..

I met Yixiu today. Glad to see you doing fine my dear. Found someone eh. =). Take care of that throat! You'll be fine=).

Much has happened this year. It has pretty much been smooth sailing. No bitches or bastards to ruin my life. I'm going to digress a little. I'm FUCKING irritated by Ngiam. His opinions and arguments are so freaking idiotic I feel like stabbing him. Sorry for bitching I need to let off steam.

FUCK MR KWOK. That jackass of a math teacher is unknowingly killing my interest in maths. Those who know me know that i LOOOOVVVEE math but apparently this idiot is killing it. Short fuck. He's like a Concorde.

I'm going to mug my weekends.

Tasks:
1) Math Tutorials
2) Chem Tutorials
3) Chem Spa(C & D)
4) Physics Tutorial
5) Finish up Market structure
6) Start on Chem 2004 paper

I have much to do..

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.

2007-05-11T22:07:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Ben Neo. Thx Jie for tagging. =)

We lost to JJ today. Doesn't really matter. I'm being on the fence. Badminton, Squash, or both. Tough tough tough decision.
Oh well.

I'm fine now I guess. Work has been gong fine. Except econs of course. I'm still far behind. I topped chem. I want to top physics and math too. Go Kenneth!!! =P. Tough with people like the scholars and XD around.

I'm gonna mug my mid years by next week. GO GO GO. Ok I'm like psychoing myself to work like a dog. =P

Il Divo rocks like hell. They damn hell rock. Excellent vocals, great songs..

I suddenly miss 4A and I miss Andrea..

Xiu I hope every thing's going fine.

Life's good today. I hope it stays this way..

She'll be your air, she'll brng you life, she'll make the sacrifice.. When a woman loves a man.

2007-05-04T23:37:00.000+08:00

I just realized every time I drink Milo, I'd blog.

Today was fucked up because of miss lim. Pissed. I'm extremely pissed.

Let the team lose for all I care..

I don't feel like talking about it. FUCK

I glad to have ** for me to rant to. I love you dar.. You cheer up. falling sick already.

Sigh..

I recently heard this song:

Perhaps love is like a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

Oh, Love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel

And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
And some say they don't know

Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside
Thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

2007-04-24T21:18:00.000+08:00

So here I am, sipping my extra thick and chocolaty ice milo, studying chem. First and foremost, thanks to XD, yunzhen, yixiu, jiani, rui, meixian, vel and shiling for tagging. It's joyful to note that people do actually read my blog. It makes blog have a point in a funny sort of way.

On a side note, Yunzhen we haven't met for ages. I really hope you're doing fine. Vel and Shiling, jia you for your mid years which should be coming up pretty pretty soon eh=). Xiu I thank you for Friday. I'm glad to have met you after ages and ages.

I'm here to say I'm fine. Insecurities are part and parcel of life I guess. So here I am learning about enthalpy changes and bond energies thinking how idiotic the darn lecturer is, about how the 'earthquake' happened, about my PW and the soon upcoming econs lecture test i'm dreading, about the upcoming chem and physics SPA, about training tomorrow, about how I even managed to wriggle myself into a life like this.

I was sitting in the canteen that day. Cassandra and Elizabeth said something I never thought I'd hear: Kenneth you have no life. You love mugging and your life revolves around the same few things. 1) Studies 2) Girlfriend 3) Trainings. Upon reflection yes indeed, most of our lives depend very much on the things that revolve around us and what will happen if we simply lose it all?

I hate to ponder over such an intriguing question. So it's simple. I'll treasure what I have. Yes those 3 are priorities. But I do have a life i believe. I love my family, my friends, I blade, I cycle, I eat, I indulge.. And the list goes on and on.

Enough on reflections, its time to go back to enthalpy changes and bond energies.

Much love, Ken

P.S Xiu update your blog details asap!

I know that God must love me cause... He sent you to me..

2007-04-19T22:54:00.000+08:00

I hate life today..

HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE.

BYE

2007-04-08T20:45:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered how dreadful it is every single Sunday for me? Not because the day sucked. But because of that fact that a brand new week is starting. And my Mondays suck the most due mainly to the fact that I have to rush down from tuition(which apparently finishes at 7.30PM mind you) back to school for 2 hours of training. That takes up a tremendous amount of energy on my part.

I particularly loved last week. Absence is bliss. I was absent from training for the week.. And boy it felt good. Hah. I know I chose this path and trying my best to cope is my responsibility. But it stresses me out a lot sometimes.

The chalet went well. Very unlike last year. The present class is very cooperative with the money issue. Glad about it. Still remembering the chalet last year. Was dumb really.. It just made me treasure 07S64 more I guess.. Rui's sms meant the world. Thanks=)

** cut her hair short. It looks gorgeous darling. =)

I hate econs.. And GP.. Once again. My weaknesses in English and the arts has proved their worth.

Eragon's a great book btw..

Yixiu we have to meet up soon..

Suwei joined me for tuition today. =). Great that we're still so close even after secondary school..

I have Chinese to complete. I hope you people had a great week..

<3

You, you light up my life
You give me hope to carry on
You light up my days
And fill my nights with song
It can't be wrong, when it feels so right

Cause you, you light up my life

2007-03-29T21:34:00.000+08:00

A very big hello to Shiling, Val and Yuwen. Thanks for tagging. =)

Yea I guess I'm back.

I'm shagged. Daily training since Monday. I hope I can push on

Update: Got owned by RJ, Badminton coach is actually really nice, I totally suck at squash and I've got a blue slip for the entire year. so no PE for me for the rest of the year. Great. ** is sick, getting better though. <3 to you..

Can't wait for class chalet next Thursday. =). CT rep Kenneth Phua organized it.

I really need to work on my serve for badminton and my return of service for squash. I can't get both right it seems. It's tough to play two extremely different racket games. I think squash is fun, and badminton is my passion.. What to do..

My GC is officially lost, so i have to buy a freaking new one. I think my sister is trying to get a second hand one for me. Oh well..

Life s fannntastic now.. I'm happy the way things are. I miss my daddy though. He's overseas. =).

Aim: Squash Vice Cap or Cap(Duh, only 2 guys in squash j1. LOL)

have a beautiful week, I have essays to complete.

Ciao.

Quote: I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than attempting to satisfy them

2007-03-25T22:50:00.000+08:00

hey,

I decided to abandon you last December but I've decided to want you back..=)

So its a new year.. Well not actually, practically 1/4 of it has flew past like that. Amazing year it has been, VJ's great.. I should study harder though. Been slacking too much.

Physics tuition started today. Was good. That dunman high girl is still in the class.. SIGH.. HAHA! Guys you know what I mean.. Chem will be starting on the 2th of April and Math will be starting soon. =).

Yixiu I'm starting to blog again. I'm sure you'll be a firm supporter=). Meet up soon please.. I haven't seen you in months!

In any case, I'll be joining badminton on top of squash.. So it's 6 times a week training for me. And i'm gonna do it..

I'll update once a week from now.. And it'll be a new system now.. Every post will have the quote of the day/week=)

I'll update soon.. In the mean time, I miss someone a lot=P

<3

Quote: Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game(Quoted from A Cinderella Story)

2006-12-22T02:20:00.000+08:00

like i said.. new life.. bye blog.. it was nice having u as my confider as i dun exactly haf anyone. except a few..

why i deleted my blog? because ur name says so.. bye

2006-12-21T01:32:00.000+08:00

CHALET

2 words.. Beautiful Disaster.. I thank some of the guys for standing by me through yesterday..

Thanks Alex.. And Yixiu..

I'm very glad I let it all out.. But I'm regretful for taking it out on you guys.. Sigh..

I suddenly feel very tired tonight.. I lack sleep..

As I sat there by the wooden ledge
With everyone behind
It felt as if..
I was all alone.

2006-12-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to me.. Yes to me.. Actually it was yesterday

I loved my birthday.. Apart from my 14th one with Suwei and Andrea and my 6th one with my fave ice cream cake. This was the best ever

I want to thank Yixiu first. Cause she made my day so so special. Lunch first. When she gave me the present. Oh so sweet of her. Very very nice gold box which costed a bomb! OMG. Inside was a notebook. Which I'll try so hard to use. Can't bear to. Thanks for the sweet words dar=). Apparently I got her the exact same presents. My oh my. Soul mates!

Concert at Hope? I think its called Hope Auditorium or something to that extend. So yes. Exposed to God once more. Not ready yet tho. But yes the people were really sweet! I've got like a billion Birthday wishes Cause of YIXIU! But yes I got a cake *melts* and a prayer. And 3 wishes. Thanks you guys.. I mean I known you all for 2 hours? and you treated me like I've known you for years. =). Very touched.

Shopping at Vivo. Fun. Nice Environment and yes Yixiu looks stunning in a dress.. A LOW-CUT dress! hahahahaha!!!!!

She was nice enough to wait for my bus to come. heh..

Loves to Yixiu for a special Bday!

I wanna thank Andrea next, for a beautiful day out that day..=). Remember my gift.. I want a birthday gift I wish I'll never receive. =)

Thanks Shiling for my gift. Love the bear.

Thanks Alex, Suwei, Shannon, Zhong Xian, Wee Ho, Matthew My Parents, My sisters, Vanessa and Amelia, Mas, Alina, Hui Yi, Jia Ni, Lois, Velvarie, Valerie, Diana?(LOL), Qin Jie, Sufian!, Jason!(OMG HE REMEMBERED I LOVE YOU JASON!), Daniel!, The guys/girls of today, Hui Yin, Yun Zhen, Zhen Yan. And some others whom I may forget.. Thanks for your kind mssages and all.. They mean the world to me

Thanks for everything my friends and family, this year doesnt seem so bad afterall..

I wish for a better year, with great friends like these, and yes a birthday gift I wish I'll never receive..

I love you guys.
I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!

2006-12-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

Eragon = Great show

Andrea was stunning today..

much love sweetie!

2006-12-13T11:03:00.000+08:00

Back from Europe and boy it was great.. Gave me quite a break especially after the O's and at the same time it was a really good learning experience. 9 places, 18 days. I missed home so much. My elder sis didn't go so yes, we need some catching up, and yes yixiu i missed you too.. and of course the guys. Presents for almost everyone. If I forget, 2 reasons, Either I really forgot or you're not important enough. I cam-whored.. So here I come.

London was first. 1st impression, damn idiotic people. We took the subway to the hotel and the people there were worse than S'pore Ah pehs, pushed around like balls and doors don't open without you pressing the button. So good luck if you ever land in London.

2nd impression, FUCKING expensive place. Food was extremely expensive. A stupid lunch at a fucked up place costed bout 120 Sing dollars due to the crazy exchange rate, the service sucked as well, particularly the one below:

Costs 50p which is 1.50 sing dollars to PEE in the city loos

So yes despite the expensive-ness and the stupid train, London was all ok.
Hotel was good, apparently the best breakfast served throughout the trip
And the best sunrise.

Arsenal stadium was magnificent just that I didn't manage to see any grass. HAHA.

And then I saw aproximately 50 sports cars and convertibles roaring their engines on the steeets of London apparently trying to stop the Govt there or whatever from closing the company down. Went to the Buckingham Palace, St pauls Cathedral, tower bridge, big ben and most importantly I still managed to catch my live game of Man U versus Chelsea at the hotel.

3 days.. Bye London

Costed 1200 bucks to take the train from London to Paris. Crazy? I think so. So yes Paris. Took a bus tour and a boat tour.

Eiffle Tower climbing up was horrendous. the left was on the first day the right was on the second=) how different eh..

Louvre Museum(Stupid Mona Lisa, I paid money to enter the museum to take a picture of that stupid face but there were 3 guards and a huge wall with glass panels covering the painting and a sign saying NO PHOTOS, I couldnt take any except the sign outside that leads you to the painting. MONA LISA TO HELL WITH YOU)

then to Bergamo which was a beautiful old town. My dad needed to go there for a meeting apparently. And yes, the hot chocolate was perfect.. breathtaking view

Milan (shopping and more shopping) It was damn crowded. Men had to queue longer then women for toilets.. What has the world become.. tell me..

Venice (River city I had to go there as much of this portion of my SS textbook was left untouched, beautiful food, great city)

Florence (more shopping) and yes i caught a great sunset

Pisa(Just to see the leaning tower)

Pescara (Great company. Fantastic dinner with my dad's friend, fantastic beef. Saw a real factory producing coffee machines)

Rome (shopping, Vetican City, Vittino Monument, Collosseo)

There are endless tresures of this world, I have yet to explore.. But even my teddy bear went to Europe.. Have you? =P

2006-11-22T20:36:00.000+08:00

Meeting Yixiu today made me realised how sometimes life puts us down in special ways for us to get up again. We had a really inspirational talk together with Edwin apparently from VS so the conversation was really great as we had alot in common.. We talked about past experiences, girls and boys in general, spiritual belief and life.

As I looked back as we spoke.. I think fate really has alot to do to decide where we are right now.. Imagine yourself being in a different country, would your life be completely different? Even on a much smaller scale.. What if you're staying in the opposite end of tiny Singapore. you'll probably be in a different school, with different friends, with perhaps a completely different life. Fate did in some way or another played an important factor in influencing our very lives. I can't imagine life without my closest friends right now. But if I were in another school, they may just be complete strangers, will life be the same?

The two friends at Starbucks today are apparently Christians, I'm proud of myself today.. For discussing this very topic in which I am totally off tangent from the two of them. if you're in my class, you should very well know how much a firm believer of myself and not anything or anyone else. I guess it may be true.. Maybe God does exist. The experiences they've been through were spiritual and to them, God indeed was there for them. But in my very life, experiences after experiences showed me otherwise. I'm not sure.. Maybe its just me and my headstrong character.. Maybe.. Maybe not..

I've not blogged about reflections of my life before.. I really wonder why. Too lazy perhaps. But I realised today that I actually take setbacks in life to drive me on to do better. For example in Primary 4, (I hated studying at that point of time), Apparently what happened was I copied during my spelling test and I got caught. My parents came to know and guess wad.. Bye gameboy, bye com, bye everything, I was caned, I was made to kneel on stones. I cried so hard that day. But I willed myself on to do my parents proud. That very year.. I broke through my knowledge barrier. This year was no different. I used work to numb my pain. Emotions pushed me on.

I don't know whether blogging about my rubbish life is right or wrong. I wonder if you reading this very page would think that I'm just a stupid silly dumb guy or whatsoever. But seriously I don't care.. Cause I believe I have the right to blog whatever I want to..

AND MY GOD ME AND YIXIU ARE JUST DAMN CLOSE FRIENDS! I LOVE HER TO BITS.. NOT IN THAT KINDA WAY OF COURSE. BUT REALLY BECAUSE I NEVER KNEW HOW TO APPRECIATE LIFE UNTIL I MET HER.. ok enough caps... If any of you people out there were me.. I'm very very very very sure you'll feel the same way. My claims and all that I love and miss her are incredibly true until today the missing part is gone cause I met her. Its weird for people to think that loving means BGR cause let me tell you that BGR sucks balls. I love alex, shannon, wee ho, zhong xian, and the list goes on and on and on and on and on and on.. I'm no gay or sex loving maneater or whatsoever.. I just love them..

I'm going to start anew. A brand new life.. No more relationships, but more friendships. No more pain, but more happiness. No more negatives.. no more.. no more..

This year was very eventful.. Much happiness because I found people and let them into my life and I cherish them more then ever. Much stress because of the O's. Much pain as well.. And I'm not ashamed to tell everyone of you readers that I lost Zainuddin Zakaria as a friend..

But as I said. NO MORE. I'll never make a mistake like that ever again in my life.. It was a difficult decision but I guess I chose to go with something else.

I'm enjoying life more than ever now.. Hopefully in JC there'll be as little bitching as possible, as little pain or hurt as possible, but as much love and happiness as possible. This year was too regretful and never would I want another year like this again.

On a sidenote, I miss suwei alot..

Europe, here I come..